Missions Trip Successfully Converts Entire Village Into Republicans
“UNDISCLOSED—A missions trip to a remote tribe in an undisclosed closed country has successfully converted the entire village into conservative Republicans, sources from the missions team confirmed Friday.
“After contextualizing the basics of right-wing beliefs to the culture of the tribe for several months, the missionaries finally made a breakthrough as they communicated to the group their need for conservative political philosophy to save them from their sins. Finally, missionaries gave a moving altar call Thursday evening, and the village elders responded in faith, accepting Republicanism as Lord of their life.
“The rest of the village soon followed.
“’When the people saw the glory of our savior Donald Trump, they erupted into spontaneous celebration,’ one of the American missionaries said in an emotional video uploaded to Facebook. ‘It was so great to see these people finally abandon their un-American culture and embrace the gospel of the United States, forever changing their eternity.’
“At publishing time, missionaries had confirmed there was still much work to do, such as converting the village into middle-class white people.”
If you are not familiar with “The Babylon Bee” check it out here.
Not only is this funny, it is all too true.
Years ago I was investigating the claim that missionaries with Wycliffe Bible Translators had worked with/for the CIA. I discovered that it was true.
As I rummaged around old Wycliffe literature, I also discovered a lesson-planning book from the 1960s describing scenarios to be translated into native languages, once the alphabet had been created, and then used to teach students how to read their language.
One lesson went like this, complete with cartoon characters in frame after frame:
Traditionally, an Indian went fishing.
Caught a fish.
Took it back to the village in order to share the catch with everyone.
This is bad.
Instead, when you go fishing.
And you catch a fish.
Bring it back to the village and sell it for money.
Then you have money to buy new things.
And your neighbors learn that they must work to earn more money for themselves.
I kid you not. Think about this…
