Category: Christian Living/Church Related

A Review of “From Here to Maturity” by Thomas Bergler, With Commentary on the National Disaster that is American Evangelicalism

From Here to Maturity: Overcoming the Juvenilization of American Christianity (Eerdmans, 2014) is the sequel to Thomas Bergler’s acclaimed book, The Juvenilization of American Christianity.  (See my review).  In his second book, Bergler offers practical advice for church leaders searching for remedies to the problems of perpetually juvenile congregations.  The goal is to grow churches of maturing disciples not content with permanent states of spiritual adolescence.

Chapter 1, “We’re All Adolescents Now,” briefly reviews the conclusions of Bergler’s extensive historical survey in The Juvenilization of American Christianity.  Once again, he defines juvenilization as “the process by which the religious beliefs, practices, and developmental characteristics of adolescents become accepted – or even celebrated – as appropriate for Christians of all ages” (2).  We should probably add the word indefinitely or forever to this definition.  Everyone is a juvenile at some point, but it should be short-lived, not a permanent condition.

The congregational expression of adolescent faith is a strong preference for “emotionally comforting, self-focused, and intellectually shallow” church services and worship experiences where a person’s connection to Christ is typically described as “falling in love with Jesus.”  The vocabulary of teenage romance becomes normative for all Christian faith among all ages, all the time.

After diagnosing these problems, Bergler provides a good, if brief, survey of maturity vocabulary in the New Testament, highlighting passages that distinguish mature from immature faith and the essential characteristics of mature Christianity (for example, see Hebrews 5:11 – 6:12).  Chapter 2 then elaborates on the New Testament descriptions of how this spiritual growth can be nurtured, including the fact that such development is not optional.  It is not ok to remain content with a juvenile faith.  Mature Christians are described as:

  • knowing “foundational Christian teachings well enough to explain them to others” (38)
  • able to discern the differences between sound and unsound teaching, encouraging the one and opposing the other while putting it into practice
  • embracing suffering and trials, especially for the sake of the gospel, as essential aspects of maturation
  • understanding that they are “being conformed to the death and resurrection of Christ,” especially by their sacrificial service to others (39)
  • devoted to the unity and development of the church, rejecting unloving actions intended to cause division (41)
  • actively “putting off the old self and putting on the new self” while displaying Godly character (42).

The process of spiritual growth requires (1) sound teaching on the importance of Christian maturity and what it looks like within the context of (2) personal relationships where mature believers can serve as “spiritual parents” to newer believers, modeling the maturation process in community.

The remainder of the book explores specific ways for church leaders to become intentional and specific in their promotion of congregational maturity across all age groups.  Chapter 3, “Helping Adults Mature,” grapples with motivating and instructing the current generation of juvenilized adults who have never known anything other than “youth group” Christianity.

One of the greatest challenges to this demographic is the development of mature emotional patterns.  Bergler says, “Among contemporary American Christians, it seems that feelings are too often obstacles rather than resources for spiritual growth…They think that the way to grow closer to God is to seek new and better emotional experiences” (72).  Bergler encourages leaders to adopt Dallas Willard’s useful model of VIM, referring to a strategy for implementing Vision, Intention, and Means.

Chapter 4 elaborates on the need for congregational-wide planning by refocusing on healthy youth group strategies.  Juvenilization is the result of adolescent ministry strategies expanding throughout congregational life and becoming normative for all age levels.  Bergler’s maturation strategy encourages youth ministries to adopt processes of spiritual growth that are transferable throughout the entire congregation.  The road of spiritual influences would be a two-way street, from youth to adults as well as from adults to youth.

This chapter is the lengthiest and most elaborate section of Bergler’s book.  I suspect that many readers will find his suggestions too programmatic and complex for their liking.  It certainly appears overwhelming, at least it did to me.  But Bergler offers a number of practical suggestions for modifying, adapting and customizing this material in ways that keep the Biblical essentials while allowing for flexible implementation.  It is well worth studying the results of his research and then brainstorming with others about the best ways to implement processes for congregational maturity in your church.

Living in a culture that can be very anti-intellectual – within the church, this attitude typically expresses itself in “anti-theological” language; we have all heard it – Bergler emphasizes the importance of leaders teaching sound theology to their congregations.  Good teachers figure out ways to make Christian theology accessible and practical while highlighting its importance.

Allow me to quote at length from Bergler’s conclusions on the centrality of theology:

“First, theology provides the basic truths and principles of discernment that every mature Christian must embrace…Both the biblical and sociological evidence confirm that churches that help people learn, love, and live theology (as opposed to just having uninformed good feelings about God) tend to produce more spiritually mature Christians…

“Second, theological reflection can help church leaders identify the barriers to spiritual maturity in their congregations.  Often it is not the official theology of the church that hinders spiritual maturity; rather, it is the lived theology of the congregation that gets in the way…When churches find it hard to get adults to care about the youth ministry or to get young people to care about the rest of the church, a lived theology of the church that does not challenge American individualism and age segregation may be one of the causes” (112).

Amen.

Bergler’s final chapter, “From Here to Maturity,” links to several diagnostic indices offering tools for congregational assessment.  Understanding a congregation’s current maturity level is a preliminary step in determining the right strategy for moving forward.  Again, some readers will find this chapter too programmatic for their liking.  Leaders who ignore his advice, however, do so at their own peril.  Remember James’ warning that “teachers will be judged more strictly” (3:1).

To illustrate his analysis for the need of remedial leadership, Bergler focuses on congregational worship and the importance of changing the style of music to which so many American church-goers have become accustomed – though he does touch on other issues as well.

Bergler is particularly concerned about “the ways that certain contemporary worship practices mimic pop culture” (127).  And, No, he is not a fighting-fundi condemning rock-and-roll in church.  He is analyzing musical content and the patterns of thought and expression embedded in the lyrics.  A brief but important discussion of research in cognitive psychology explains how musical preferences can “hard-wire” our neural circuitry into “schemas” or mental, neural patterns that “reinforce patterns of thinking and behaving” without our ever realizing the ways in which our brains are being programmed (130).

Bergler focuses on two problems in contemporary worship:

First, a great many contemporary worship songs are me-focused rather than God-focused.  A congregation can easily spend more time referring to themselves, singing about things they are going to do, rather than focusing on our Triune God, declaring the things that He has done.  There is a proper time and place for talking about ourselves – especially as we confess our guilt and sin, repent and ask for forgiveness; rarely performed acts of worship in non-liturgical churches nowadays – but for many congregations singing about oneself is the main course all the time.

Second, a great deal of contemporary church music “draws from the North American culture of romantic love” (126).  The result is that “falling in love” or “being in love” with Jesus becomes the central image of Christian living.  True love becomes the agent of salvation (131), despite the fact that New Testament passages using marriage or marriage feasts as metaphors for Christ’s relationship to the church never tell believers that they should be in love with Jesus (check out the passages listed on page 133).

Allow me to quote Bergler at length one last time:

“Slow dance worship songs are drawing on American cultural scripts about romantic relationships for their emotional impact. Those exposed to a steady diet of this music will be tempted to embrace the Christian life as a kind of romantic infatuation…such Christians may develop a self-centered relationship with Jesus…They will value the way Jesus makes them feel and will be much less concerned about the theological content of the faith.  Too many slow dances with Jesus may reinforce immature forms of the Christian life (132).

“A relationship with Jesus the master involves training and submission, not just emotional comfort…Followers of Jesus give up all claims to their own life and devote themselves to joining him in his kingdom mission…Slow dance worship music does little to grow mature Christian communities.  With its emphasis on the one-on-one relationship between Jesus and the believer (“Jesus I am so in love with you”) it does nothing to counteract the rampant individualism in American society. The particular brand of individualism found in this music emphasizes how God fits into my life and provides me what I need, not how I need to fit into God’s kingdom.  In other words, it reinforces the therapeutic or even narcissistic religion that is rampant in contemporary America” (134-135).

Bergler offers some excellent advice on how to sensibly address these issues and implement much needed changes in church life.  I recommend reading his book for yourself to discover the details of what he suggests.

As I conclude this review, I find myself meditating on the abysmal spiritual condition of American evangelicalism in this era of Trump and wondering to what extent Bergler’s diagnosis of juvenilized Christianity helps to explain the many current, evangelical political behaviors that I find utterly abhorrent, even down-right pagan.  Remember, 81% of self-identified evangelicals voted for this man.  White evangelical support for Trump remains at an all-time high despite his noxious behavior, war-mongering, flagrant disregard for common decency, dehumanizing of others — especially women — immigrants and people of color, pathological lies, misrepresentations and stunning political ineptitude.

It makes perfect sense to me that our malignantly narcissistic, petulant man-child of a president continues to ride the wave of support given to him by equally self-centered, childish, anti-intellectual, evangelical “Christians” who have never learned the value of spiritual discernment, theological acumen, self-denial, or obedience to the kingdom mission of Jesus Christ before every other distraction.

In the book of Revelation, John the Seer warns the church about their need for spiritual maturity if they hope to stand firm until the very End.

“This calls for patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of the saints” (Rev. 13:10).

“This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God’s commandments and remain faithful to Jesus” (Rev. 14:12).

Another of history’s many antichrists (see 1 John 2:18, 22; 4:3; 2 John 1:7) now sits in the oval office.  Thus far, America’s juvenilized evangelicals remain Trump’s staunchest supporters.  The devotees most lacking in conscience impute to him an almost messianic status as The One sent to us by God.  What further proof is needed of the destructive social consequences born of wholesale, unapologetic childishness among God’s people?

The shepherds who failed to instill maturity throughout their flocks, who never even thought to ask the right questions, will one day be held accountable for their neglect of God’s children.  They will “weep and wail” because of their faithlessness (Jeremiah 25:34-35).

The church is not exempt from divine judgment.  We dare not forget Israel’s own pitiful example:

“Like a woman unfaithful to her husband,

so, you have been unfaithful to me,

O house of Israel,” declares the LORD…

A cry is heard on the barren heights,

the weeping and pleading of the people of Israel,

because they have perverted their ways

and have forgotten the LORD their God.

“Return, faithless people;

I will cure you of your backsliding.”…

Surely the idolatrous commotion on the hills [e.g. Capitol Hill]

and the mountains is a deception;

surely in the LORD our God

is the salvation of Israel.  (Jeremiah 3:20-23)

Am I suggesting that there is a straight line from slow-dancing with Jesus to embracing Donald Trump?  No.  But circuitous, evasive lines full of detours, while trickier to trace out, are no less significant.

And we all know that subtle, hidden connections can be more dangerous than obvious straight lines.

Yes Pastor Floyd, America Needs a Spiritual Breakthrough. But Not the One You Imagine

Ronnie Floyd, senior pastor of Cross Church in NW Arkansas, former president of the Southern Baptist Convention, and president of the National Day of Prayer, has written an editorial for CBNNews (claiming to offer THE Christian Perspective on today’s affairs) under the headline “America Needs a Spiritual Breakthrough.”  Here are a few excerpts from pastor Ronnie’s missive:

“America is broken and in deep need of a spiritual breakthrough. Division and hatefulness are abounding as none of us would ever imagine. Our greatest hope is a spiritual breakthrough in America…

“We are facing one of the most dangerous times across the globe in our lifetime. While encouragement occurs from time to time, we remain in fragile moments globally…

 “The churches in America are in need of a spiritual visitation by the Holy Spirit that will call them out of their lukewarm status and cause them to return to the power of the gospel. Jesus is still the greatest hope in every town, city, and region in America…

 “Politically, America is in trouble. The disappointment of our political leaders not working together for the common good of our nation has Americans filled with all sorts of emotions, many of which are not healthy. This partisan decision making is hurting the progress and future of our nation greatly.”

Alas, what hope is there for American evangelicalism when such poisonous, spiritual gruel passes for prophetic witness and is guzzled like cool-aid by the average church-goer?

How can God’s people hope to see clearly when their leaders are so willfully blind?  How will the people hear truth when their preachers are deaf to any words but their own?  How can the church mature when her teachers think and act (and write) like ignorant children?

When pastors like Ronnie persist in leading their congregations ‘round and ‘round in circles, I am not surprised that so much of the church remains confused, dizzy and socially ineffective.

The pastor of Cross Church is at cross purposes with himself, for he represents the most common theological confusions of American evangelicals, all of which I disentangle in my book,  I Pledge Allegiance: A Believer’s Guide to Kingdom Citizenship in 21st Century America (Eerdmans, 2018).  At the heart of this confusion is his mashing together of church and state which is then sifted through the grotesque assumption that God is a Republican who voted for Donald Trump.

Let’s not be so naïve as to think that Ronnie’s lament over “division and hatefulness” while facing “the most dangerous times across the globe,” dealing with “the disappointment of our political leaders not working together for the common good” is anything other than the predictably partisan judgments of a Trump-loyalist.  For people like Ronnie, healing national divisions for the common good means falling into lock-step behind an obscene, racist, malignantly narcissistic president and then following him anywhere like dumb lemmings running to the cliff.

But these political errors are the easy-to-see, low-hanging fruit.

Let’s move on to grab hold of the more substantial core of Ronnie’s theological errors.  Errors that identify him as only one more false prophet in the American pantheon of wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing defrauding God’s flock.

The tell-tale sign that Ronnie is up to no good appears with his blatantly utilitarian view of the gospel.  Notice that his ultimate objective for preaching the good news of Jesus Christ is not to glorify God or to expand God’s kingdom.  Those are merely penultimate goals.  Excellent goals, certainly, but not the final goal.

No, the final objective for Ronnie and his misguided kinfolk is the unification of America’s body-politic behind the president and his policies.  (Again, we will leave aside how shockingly immoral many of Trump’s policies are.)  What evidence will finally tell us that America’s “spiritual breakthrough” has arrived?  Well, we will see (1) a renewed political scene that is (2) free of partisanship (3) with “political leaders working together for the common good of our nation.”

When these things happen, then we can know that the America church has “received a spiritual visitation by the Holy Spirit” (what other kind of visitation would the Holy Spirit make?) that has “called it out of its lukewarm status.”  So the Holy Spirit will work in America as in ancient Israel.  The Spirit’s task is to unite the nation.  The church and the gospel are tools for achieving that greater end.

But Ronnie’s vision confuses the church with the world and the world with the church.  God’s people are called to become strangers and aliens within American society.  Proclaiming the saving work of Jesus’ death and resurrection recruits new citizens into God’s kingdom who will demonstrate their newfound redemption by their own transformation into strangers and aliens.

Declaring the gospel of Jesus Christ honestly will highlight the stark contrasts between the church and this fallen world.  It will never bring them closer together.  Gospel preaching is nothing if not a heavenly bombardment that destroys our flesh-pot idols of civil religion, nationalism, and salvation by politics.  Genuine followers of Jesus are not deceived by this ancient, beastly triumvirate of bogus, copy-cat Christianity.

Yet, this three-headed monster spewing out recycled false religion like “a dog returning to its vomit” (2 Peter 2:22) is exactly what Pastor Ronnie – and the bulk of evangelical leaders sharing his devotion to American redemption by politics – is offering both the readers of CBNNews and those attending his multi-campus megachurch.

Ironically, the true evidence that American evangelicalism is more than satisfied with its damnably “lukewarm status,” with no intention of confessing its sins or repenting of its many offenses against the Lord Jesus and his kingdom, is its blind, self-satisfied allegiance to such atrociously false teachers as Ronnie Floyd.

Yes, American evangelicalism desperately needs a spiritual breakthrough.  But it’s not the one pastor Ronnie is looking for.  We will know that the real breakthrough has arrived when Ronnie Floyd and others like him publicly renounce their idolatrous Christian nationalism, confess that the kingdom of God has nothing to do with American politics, repent of their adulteration of the gospel with the bile of civil religion, and then call their congregations to sell their excessive belongings, giving the proceeds to the poor.

Now, that would be a breakthrough.

Stories of Self-Denial, 2

Having confronted my earlier failure to ask Jesus what he wanted to do with my life, I completed my undergraduate degree in wildlife biology and did something I would have never thought possible – I stepped into Christian ministry.  (Check out part 1 of this story here).

My friend, Marv Anderson, convinced me to join the staff of Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship.  Terry and I moved to Salt Lake City, UT where I worked on the campus of the University of Utah.  Four years of campus ministry with university students convinced me that I had to pursue graduate work in theology and Biblical studies, but that pastoral, parish work was the last thing I would ever consider.

Jesus had certainly been answering my daily prayer that he teach me to love people, but he hadn’t altered my basic makeup as an introvert.  Yes, I was learning to care deeply about others, but they still exhausted me.  I couldn’t imagine becoming a pastor, dealing with the messiness and conflicts of congregational life day after exhausting day.  So, I searched for a graduate school offering advanced degrees in Christian theology without directing students into the pastorate.

I enrolled in Regent College, Vancouver, B.C.

My first year at Regent blew my mind.  I absolutely loved studying theology, church history, Biblical studies and languages.  Perhaps I will share more miraculous stories from my time at Regent in future posts.  Terry and I were the beneficiaries of many, many miracles during those years.  We also made a number of life-long friends.  Those years living in Blaine, Washington were foundational in making us the people we are today.

But, alas, in my second year of study, the leadership at Regent College double-crossed me!  The powers-that-be decided to add a Masters of Divinity program to their catalogue.  An M.Div. degree is the standard gateway course of study for would be pastors.  To make matters worse, I began to sense that God was calling me to switch programs and enter the M.Div. program.  Yikes!

Following Jesus is a mysterious way to live.  For instance, how do you know when an invisible God, whom you have never seen, who does not speak in an audible voice (at least, not to me) is “telling” you to do something?  And not something in general, like “be a nice person,” but something very specific, like “change your major and enter the M.Div. program you have been running away from”?

Well, you just do.

Following the Holy Spirit is one of those things a person has to experience for themselves in order to understand it – and here I am using the word “understand” very flexibly.  Some would say I am stretching it beyond recognition.  Real Christianity is always mystical at its core.  If a person says they follow Jesus but has never experienced the ineffable compulsion to do this, go there, start that, move over here – especially when those urges direct you in ways that run contrary to your personal preferences – then I would suggest that person is only pretending to follow Jesus.

Remember, the way of Jesus is a way of self-denial.

I pushed back against God’s mystical shove towards the M.Div. program for weeks.  Yet, try as I might, I could not shake the sense that Jesus was telling me to sign up.  My early morning devotional times became lengthy wrestling matches where I worked hard at convincing God that he was making a terrible mistake.  If he had wanted me to become a church pastor, he should have made me a different person.  I simply did not have the proper personality to become a successful church minister.  Why had He made me this way if that was His design for my future?

I still remember the moment of my surrender, actually if was more like a collapse, as if it were yesterday.  I was spiritually and emotionally exhausted.  It is not easy to fight against your Creator.  At least, not if you are trying to love Him at the same time.  In the early morning darkness, sitting in my Blaine living room, I prayed this prayer:

“Ok Lord.  I think that you are making a big mistake.  You made me in such a way that I can never be anything more than a second-rate pastor.  But if that is what you want me to do, then I will try to become the best second-rate pastor I can be.”

That morning I went to the Regent registrar’s office and switched my course of studies to the M.Div. program.  I did not know where or how I could become a minister, since I had no denominational ties or support.  But when Jesus tells you to do something, it’s best to leave the future necessities to Him.  He knows how to work out the details.

I did eventually become the pastor of a church in Salt Lake City.  I was there for 9 years.  When people ask me about it, I sometimes quote a line from the opening of Charles Dickens’ novel, A Tale of Two Cities:  it was the best of times; it was the worst of times.

The Lord and I continued to have regular wrestling matches.  Many were the prayers that repeated my fears: “I told you, Lord!  Why am I here?  I am in over my head. I feel like I am drowning. You should have made me a different kind of person.”  And then the prayers would resolve themselves in a new moment of surrender: “But I know you brought me here, Jesus.  It’s up to you to make this work.  I’ll continue to try my best, but I need all the help you can give me.”

During those 9 years of pastoral ministry, I also experienced more of the grace, mercy and the power of God than I had ever dreamed possible.  All together our church body grew in maturity as we shared in more miracles, saw more lives changed, helped more new people enter into the kingdom of God and witnessed more genuine discipleship than I had ever seen before.  I experienced genuine Christian community in very profound ways through the love and support of church members who helped carry me through some of the hardest times of my young life.

I miss those 9 years even as I never want to relive them.  All I can tell you is that, in every way at all times, our God is always good.

We rarely, if ever, know what is best for us.  Heck, we don’t even know what is mediocre.  But Jesus does, and he wants to guide us into a peculiar way of fulfillment through self-sacrificial service because sacrifice is the way of fulfillment – at least, it is for people who follow Jesus.

Jesus says, “Everyone who wants to come after me must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me.  Anyone trying to save their life will lose it.  But whoever loses their life for me and the gospel will find it.”

Stories of Self-Denial, 1

With the encouragement of some close friends, I have decided to share a few stories with you from my life.  I have been following Jesus – not always with perfect faithfulness, but those are a different set of stories; I mention that fact here to clarify that I am not making any claims to an exceptional Christian life, only a Christian life – for some 45+ years.

I don’t have as many years ahead of me as I have trailing behind me.  Lately, I have felt the Holy Spirit’s prompting, I suspect (I am not certain; that’s why I asked my friends’ advice), to share these experiences for the encouragement of others.  The memory of God’s good work should not die with the individual.  And God has been very good to me over the years.  These stories are told here in order to praise God by letting you know how good He has been to me.  (Check out my post about the Biblical meaning of “praise.”)

I firmly believe that self-denial is at the heart of obedient Christian discipleship.  Jesus could not speak any more clearly.  He says:

“If anyone wants to follow me, they must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:34-35)

Self-denial is the heart of the good news.  Self-denial defined every day of Jesus’ life on earth.  The crucifixion was Jesus’ ultimate act of self-denial.  Now he says to us, “Follow me.  Be like me. Live like me.  Be willing to die like me.  Say ‘No’ to your own selfish interests and submit entirely to the Father in heaven like me.”

It is impossible to be a disciple of Jesus Christ without learning to recognize those forks in the road where God tells us to abandon our own plans and walk in a different direction.  I am blessed in that the Holy Spirit has allowed me to recognize a few of those forks over the years.

Denying yourself is not easy.  In fact, it can be painful.

It’s not something we can do expecting immediate “blessings.”  Sometimes the rewards for obedience don’t appear for years.  Maybe they won’t appear until eternity.  At other times, the benefits become obvious in the moment.  In any case, we don’t follow Jesus because he is a cosmic gumball machine dispensing instant, observable blessings for our every action.

Sometimes self-denial entails immediate suffering.  But we do it anyway, gladly, willingly and repeatedly simply because we need to be with Jesus.  We love him, and we know that life does not make sense for us anywhere else but at his side.  As Kierkegaard wisely observed:

“If you will believe, then you will…accept Christianity on any terms…then you will say: Whether it is a help or a torment, I want only one thing, I want to belong to Christ, I want to be a Christian.”

For as long as I could remember, I had always wanted to be a wildlife biologist.  Trekking through the wildness, studying wild animals, learning their hidden secrets and behaviors that no one else had yet to witness, this was my lifelong dream as a child.

I chose my university accordingly.  The University of Montana was the only place for me.  Between its department of Wildlife Biology and the presence of Dr. John Craighead, my childhood hero and an American pioneer in modern ecology and wildlife studies, moving into the university dormitory made me as happy as a 17-year-old pig in slop.

I had qualified for the on-campus work study program so I hightailed it over to the office of the Montana Cooperative Wildlife Research Unity, founded by Dr. Craighead, and I asked for a job.  Over the next several years my dreams started to come true.  I became an assistant to several doctoral students, helping them in their field research.  I was living my dream and the signs all seemed to say, ‘Full steam ahead.’

But I also hooked up with another group in my freshman year:  Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship.  I attended their Large Group meetings.  I joined a Small Group Bible study, and I became friends with the local IV staff-worker, Marv Anderson.  (Marv and his wife Doreen are dear friends to this day.  I consider him to be one of my spiritual fathers.  Every believer needs someone like Marv in their life.)

Believe it or not, I had been born and raised in the church, but I had always thought very independently about my life.  At the university I began to rub shoulders with young people who talked openly about God’s will for their lives.

What?!  You mean following Jesus meant that I couldn’t just chase after any career I wanted?  I was supposed to pray, listen for answers, ask others for advice and do the things God wanted me to do????  Yikes!  Admittedly, I may have been sleeping during those particular lessons at church, but this was a brand-new attitude for my teenage, embryonic Christian faith.

But, with lots of helpful encouragement and advice from Marv and others, that’s exactly what I began to do.  And I started to realize new things about myself.

First, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see that, in large part, my career choice was driven by a major problem in my character.  I have always been an introvert.  Not that there is anything wrong with being an introvert.  I am quite happy with myself in that regard.  But this young man had gone much further into himself and become a good old-fashioned misanthrope.

I did not like people very much.  I was angry and antisocial – yeah, why in the world had I sought out Inter-Varsity?  It must have been the Holy Spirit again.  And I came so see that my desire to live alone in the wildness had as much to do with my dislike for the rest of the human race as it did with my love for animal life.  Yet, I was increasingly impressed by the fact that Jesus loved people.  And if I wanted to follow him, then he wanted me to love people too.

That realization caused me to seriously question whether I could continue calling myself a Christian.  I knew in my guts that no one could say they believed in Jesus while hating other people.  Yet, the last thing I was interested in was learning to love others.  Heck, I didn’t even like myself most of the time!

After a period of great internal wrestling, I concluded that I couldn’t walk away from Jesus.  I knew that I was lost without Him.  It was up to me to change, whether I liked it or not.  So, I added two new requests to my time of daily prayer.

First, I asked Jesus to teach me how to love people as he loved them, to give me his heart for others.

Second, I confessed that my plans for wildlife biology were my own.  I had never before asked the Lord what he wanted to do with my life.  So, I started asking, ‘Jesus, what are your plans for my life?  What did you make me to do?  If you want me to be a biologist, great.  But if you want to take me somewhere else, I will give up biology and do whatever you want.’

If you have checked out the biography on my blog, you will know that I have never worked as a biologist.  After graduation I followed a path into Christian ministry.  Something I never imagined I would do.  I said ‘No’ to my life-long plan – in the middle of seeing it all come true! –  because it had always been my plan.

It turned out that Jesus had a better idea for an introverted misanthrope who had also been given some unexplored gifts in communication and public speaking.

I have never regretted my decision to walk away from biology.  God’s plans for me have meant considerable hardship, at times.  The journey hasn’t always been easy.  There are more stories yet to be told.  But I have never been sorry for the choices I made, because I believe there was no other way for me to keep following after my precious Savior, Jesus Christ.

I thought I was going to the University of Montana to work with John Craighead.  Actually, I went there to meet Marv Anderson…and, of course, my wife Terry.  I had never heard of Marv before, but his model of faithful discipleship changed my life forever.

Learning “to deny myself” ended up saving me from deep personality flaws that were steering me into a life of isolation and loneliness.  Had I stubbornly held on to the person I was at the time, I would have eventually been lost.

Believe me.  Jesus always knows best.  Even when his direction is hard.