Month: August 2018

A Review of “From Here to Maturity” by Thomas Bergler, With Commentary on the National Disaster that is American Evangelicalism

From Here to Maturity: Overcoming the Juvenilization of American Christianity (Eerdmans, 2014) is the sequel to Thomas Bergler’s acclaimed book, The Juvenilization of American Christianity.  (See my review).  In his second book, Bergler offers practical advice for church leaders searching for remedies to the problems of perpetually juvenile congregations.  The goal is to grow churches of maturing disciples not content with permanent states of spiritual adolescence.

Chapter 1, “We’re All Adolescents Now,” briefly reviews the conclusions of Bergler’s extensive historical survey in The Juvenilization of American Christianity.  Once again, he defines juvenilization as “the process by which the religious beliefs, practices, and developmental characteristics of adolescents become accepted – or even celebrated – as appropriate for Christians of all ages” (2).  We should probably add the word indefinitely or forever to this definition.  Everyone is a juvenile at some point, but it should be short-lived, not a permanent condition.

The congregational expression of adolescent faith is a strong preference for “emotionally comforting, self-focused, and intellectually shallow” church services and worship experiences where a person’s connection to Christ is typically described as “falling in love with Jesus.”  The vocabulary of teenage romance becomes normative for all Christian faith among all ages, all the time.

After diagnosing these problems, Bergler provides a good, if brief, survey of maturity vocabulary in the New Testament, highlighting passages that distinguish mature from immature faith and the essential characteristics of mature Christianity (for example, see Hebrews 5:11 – 6:12).  Chapter 2 then elaborates on the New Testament descriptions of how this spiritual growth can be nurtured, including the fact that such development is not optional.  It is not ok to remain content with a juvenile faith.  Mature Christians are described as:

  • knowing “foundational Christian teachings well enough to explain them to others” (38)
  • able to discern the differences between sound and unsound teaching, encouraging the one and opposing the other while putting it into practice
  • embracing suffering and trials, especially for the sake of the gospel, as essential aspects of maturation
  • understanding that they are “being conformed to the death and resurrection of Christ,” especially by their sacrificial service to others (39)
  • devoted to the unity and development of the church, rejecting unloving actions intended to cause division (41)
  • actively “putting off the old self and putting on the new self” while displaying Godly character (42).

The process of spiritual growth requires (1) sound teaching on the importance of Christian maturity and what it looks like within the context of (2) personal relationships where mature believers can serve as “spiritual parents” to newer believers, modeling the maturation process in community.

The remainder of the book explores specific ways for church leaders to become intentional and specific in their promotion of congregational maturity across all age groups.  Chapter 3, “Helping Adults Mature,” grapples with motivating and instructing the current generation of juvenilized adults who have never known anything other than “youth group” Christianity.

One of the greatest challenges to this demographic is the development of mature emotional patterns.  Bergler says, “Among contemporary American Christians, it seems that feelings are too often obstacles rather than resources for spiritual growth…They think that the way to grow closer to God is to seek new and better emotional experiences” (72).  Bergler encourages leaders to adopt Dallas Willard’s useful model of VIM, referring to a strategy for implementing Vision, Intention, and Means.

Chapter 4 elaborates on the need for congregational-wide planning by refocusing on healthy youth group strategies.  Juvenilization is the result of adolescent ministry strategies expanding throughout congregational life and becoming normative for all age levels.  Bergler’s maturation strategy encourages youth ministries to adopt processes of spiritual growth that are transferable throughout the entire congregation.  The road of spiritual influences would be a two-way street, from youth to adults as well as from adults to youth.

This chapter is the lengthiest and most elaborate section of Bergler’s book.  I suspect that many readers will find his suggestions too programmatic and complex for their liking.  It certainly appears overwhelming, at least it did to me.  But Bergler offers a number of practical suggestions for modifying, adapting and customizing this material in ways that keep the Biblical essentials while allowing for flexible implementation.  It is well worth studying the results of his research and then brainstorming with others about the best ways to implement processes for congregational maturity in your church.

Living in a culture that can be very anti-intellectual – within the church, this attitude typically expresses itself in “anti-theological” language; we have all heard it – Bergler emphasizes the importance of leaders teaching sound theology to their congregations.  Good teachers figure out ways to make Christian theology accessible and practical while highlighting its importance.

Allow me to quote at length from Bergler’s conclusions on the centrality of theology:

“First, theology provides the basic truths and principles of discernment that every mature Christian must embrace…Both the biblical and sociological evidence confirm that churches that help people learn, love, and live theology (as opposed to just having uninformed good feelings about God) tend to produce more spiritually mature Christians…

“Second, theological reflection can help church leaders identify the barriers to spiritual maturity in their congregations.  Often it is not the official theology of the church that hinders spiritual maturity; rather, it is the lived theology of the congregation that gets in the way…When churches find it hard to get adults to care about the youth ministry or to get young people to care about the rest of the church, a lived theology of the church that does not challenge American individualism and age segregation may be one of the causes” (112).

Amen.

Bergler’s final chapter, “From Here to Maturity,” links to several diagnostic indices offering tools for congregational assessment.  Understanding a congregation’s current maturity level is a preliminary step in determining the right strategy for moving forward.  Again, some readers will find this chapter too programmatic for their liking.  Leaders who ignore his advice, however, do so at their own peril.  Remember James’ warning that “teachers will be judged more strictly” (3:1).

To illustrate his analysis for the need of remedial leadership, Bergler focuses on congregational worship and the importance of changing the style of music to which so many American church-goers have become accustomed – though he does touch on other issues as well.

Bergler is particularly concerned about “the ways that certain contemporary worship practices mimic pop culture” (127).  And, No, he is not a fighting-fundi condemning rock-and-roll in church.  He is analyzing musical content and the patterns of thought and expression embedded in the lyrics.  A brief but important discussion of research in cognitive psychology explains how musical preferences can “hard-wire” our neural circuitry into “schemas” or mental, neural patterns that “reinforce patterns of thinking and behaving” without our ever realizing the ways in which our brains are being programmed (130).

Bergler focuses on two problems in contemporary worship:

First, a great many contemporary worship songs are me-focused rather than God-focused.  A congregation can easily spend more time referring to themselves, singing about things they are going to do, rather than focusing on our Triune God, declaring the things that He has done.  There is a proper time and place for talking about ourselves – especially as we confess our guilt and sin, repent and ask for forgiveness; rarely performed acts of worship in non-liturgical churches nowadays – but for many congregations singing about oneself is the main course all the time.

Second, a great deal of contemporary church music “draws from the North American culture of romantic love” (126).  The result is that “falling in love” or “being in love” with Jesus becomes the central image of Christian living.  True love becomes the agent of salvation (131), despite the fact that New Testament passages using marriage or marriage feasts as metaphors for Christ’s relationship to the church never tell believers that they should be in love with Jesus (check out the passages listed on page 133).

Allow me to quote Bergler at length one last time:

“Slow dance worship songs are drawing on American cultural scripts about romantic relationships for their emotional impact. Those exposed to a steady diet of this music will be tempted to embrace the Christian life as a kind of romantic infatuation…such Christians may develop a self-centered relationship with Jesus…They will value the way Jesus makes them feel and will be much less concerned about the theological content of the faith.  Too many slow dances with Jesus may reinforce immature forms of the Christian life (132).

“A relationship with Jesus the master involves training and submission, not just emotional comfort…Followers of Jesus give up all claims to their own life and devote themselves to joining him in his kingdom mission…Slow dance worship music does little to grow mature Christian communities.  With its emphasis on the one-on-one relationship between Jesus and the believer (“Jesus I am so in love with you”) it does nothing to counteract the rampant individualism in American society. The particular brand of individualism found in this music emphasizes how God fits into my life and provides me what I need, not how I need to fit into God’s kingdom.  In other words, it reinforces the therapeutic or even narcissistic religion that is rampant in contemporary America” (134-135).

Bergler offers some excellent advice on how to sensibly address these issues and implement much needed changes in church life.  I recommend reading his book for yourself to discover the details of what he suggests.

As I conclude this review, I find myself meditating on the abysmal spiritual condition of American evangelicalism in this era of Trump and wondering to what extent Bergler’s diagnosis of juvenilized Christianity helps to explain the many current, evangelical political behaviors that I find utterly abhorrent, even down-right pagan.  Remember, 81% of self-identified evangelicals voted for this man.  White evangelical support for Trump remains at an all-time high despite his noxious behavior, war-mongering, flagrant disregard for common decency, dehumanizing of others — especially women — immigrants and people of color, pathological lies, misrepresentations and stunning political ineptitude.

It makes perfect sense to me that our malignantly narcissistic, petulant man-child of a president continues to ride the wave of support given to him by equally self-centered, childish, anti-intellectual, evangelical “Christians” who have never learned the value of spiritual discernment, theological acumen, self-denial, or obedience to the kingdom mission of Jesus Christ before every other distraction.

In the book of Revelation, John the Seer warns the church about their need for spiritual maturity if they hope to stand firm until the very End.

“This calls for patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of the saints” (Rev. 13:10).

“This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God’s commandments and remain faithful to Jesus” (Rev. 14:12).

Another of history’s many antichrists (see 1 John 2:18, 22; 4:3; 2 John 1:7) now sits in the oval office.  Thus far, America’s juvenilized evangelicals remain Trump’s staunchest supporters.  The devotees most lacking in conscience impute to him an almost messianic status as The One sent to us by God.  What further proof is needed of the destructive social consequences born of wholesale, unapologetic childishness among God’s people?

The shepherds who failed to instill maturity throughout their flocks, who never even thought to ask the right questions, will one day be held accountable for their neglect of God’s children.  They will “weep and wail” because of their faithlessness (Jeremiah 25:34-35).

The church is not exempt from divine judgment.  We dare not forget Israel’s own pitiful example:

“Like a woman unfaithful to her husband,

so, you have been unfaithful to me,

O house of Israel,” declares the LORD…

A cry is heard on the barren heights,

the weeping and pleading of the people of Israel,

because they have perverted their ways

and have forgotten the LORD their God.

“Return, faithless people;

I will cure you of your backsliding.”…

Surely the idolatrous commotion on the hills [e.g. Capitol Hill]

and the mountains is a deception;

surely in the LORD our God

is the salvation of Israel.  (Jeremiah 3:20-23)

Am I suggesting that there is a straight line from slow-dancing with Jesus to embracing Donald Trump?  No.  But circuitous, evasive lines full of detours, while trickier to trace out, are no less significant.

And we all know that subtle, hidden connections can be more dangerous than obvious straight lines.

Meet the Skunk Wagon. Palestinians Know It Well

Today I want to introduce you to the Skunk Wagon.  I call it the Skunk Wagon because its one and only job is to shoot a long stream of skunk water through a water cannon, powerful enough to knock people — typically Palestinians — off their feet.

Skunk water is one of several new crowd control devices developed by Israeli arms manufacturers.

A BBC reporter described skunk water like this:

“Imagine the worst, most foul thing you have ever smelled. An overpowering mix of rotting meat, old socks that haven’t been washed for weeks – topped off with the pungent waft of an open sewer. . .Imagine being covered in the stuff as it is liberally sprayed from a water cannon. Then imagine not being able to get rid of the stench for at least three days, no matter how often you try to scrub yourself clean.”

Don’t worry.  Numerous American police departments have purchased skunk water from Israel so that it can be used on US protesters, too.  You may have a chance to smell it for yourself one day.

Below is a picture of a Skunk Wagon lumbering down a narrow alley way in the Palestinian refugee camp where Terry and I periodically live with my friends.  As you can see, there are no conveniently located crowds of terrorists immediately in need

The Skunk Wagon approaching my home away from home

of dispersal, but that never stops the Israeli army from taking the initiative in looking for someone in need of a good skunk water bath.  The army is nothing if not industrious when it comes to oppressing Palestinians, even when they are living peacefully in their own neighborhoods.

Typically, when Israeli soldiers can’t find anyone to spray on the streets, they begin looking for open doors and windows in order to shoot the skunk water into people’s homes.  Apparently, the soldiers assume that the families inside are a sufficient “crowd” in need of military control.   I guess you could call it an Israeli strategy for domestic crowd control.

On this particular day, my friend’s elderly mother had her windows open to catch the morning breeze.   She is in her late 80s and suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, so she was unaware of the Skunk Wagon’s approach.  Even though she was home alone — not malingering in a dangerous crowd of family members — the Israelis decided that she posed an imminent threat and needed to be dispersed.

After all, she is a Palestinian.  As far as the political Zionism of modern Israel is concerned, the only good Palestinian is a dead Palestinian, or one who lives somewhere else, far removed from the real estate claimed by Israel’s government.

Even feeble, senile women in their late 80s deserve to be sprayed by the Skunk Wagon simply because of who they are and where they live:  they are Palestinians in the Occupied Territories.  As far as the Israeli forces are concerned, that is reason enough to beat, batter, control and dehumanize Palestinian residents in any way possible.

This day was no exception.

So, this Palestinian matriarch saw both her bedroom and living room generously bathed in skunk water.  And hers was not the only home visited by high-powered, mechanical projectile vomiting.

Imagine all of your rugs, chairs, sofas, bedding, curtains, walls, floors, clothing — everything! — drenched in skunk water.  The stench is unbelievable.  After several weeks of intensive scrubbing and cleaning by her family members, the home still reeked.  I have no idea how long it took for the smell to finally dissipate.

But this was only the beginning of the army’s fun.  The soldiers returned several days later, angered that a few boys had dared to throw rocks at them while they shot teargas down the streets and into open windows during another of their frequent invasions.  Driving a mobile teargas launcher

with a PA system, Israeli soldiers returned to deliver a message:  stop throwing rocks at us or we will slaughter you all, young and old, women and children alike.

Listen to the announcement for yourself in the video above.  You can also read a good account of the incident in the online newspaper, Middle East Eye here. (Several friends have confirmed the accuracy of the translation.)

I know of at least one instance where an asthmatic woman died in her own  living room after soldiers fired teargas through her window.  Of course, the military never acknowledges any responsibility, much less liability, for the deaths and numerous injuries caused by their reckless behavior in the camp.

My friends would have bust a gut laughing had I suggested that they send a bill to the army base next door charging them for the time and money spent cleaning up the skunk water in their mother’s home.

At least the soldier speaking in this  video was honest enough — an arrogant lapse for which he may well have been reprimanded later on — to call his comrades what they really are:  THE OCCUPATIONAL ARMY.  (A description consistently denied by Israeli/Zionist apologists.) Of course, as an occupying army they can do no wrong while the subjugated Palestinians can do nothing right.

Terrorizing the locals in any way they please is perfectly acceptable.  There are no repercussions.  But should a few testosterone driven boys decide to express their youthful anger; should they exercise human agency by refusing to lie down and play dead beneath another barrage of teargas

Israeli soldiers conduct a night raid, their favorite time to abduct people, including children, from their beds

and skunk water; should they resist Zionist  oppression by (oh my, heaven forbid!) throwing rocks at the very soldiers who daily treat them as subhuman scum in need of a good skunk water bath before their mass deportation, well then, those rebellious children deserve arrest and imprisonment.

This kind of action serves as Zionist justice in the Occupied Territories.

Israel Bombs Gaza on APR Time.  The Rest of Us Need to Reset the Clock

APR is my own abbreviation for “After Palestinians Respond”.  It is the unofficial but permanent demarcation for all of post-1947 history in Israel.

The Gregorian calendar uses BC and AD, making the birth of Christ the dividing line in world history.  BC designates history “before Christ.”  AD is an abbreviation for the Latin phrase Anno Domini, meaning “in the year of our Lord”.

For instance, Cleopatra ruled Egypt from 51 to 30 BC.  Emperor Nero ruled the Roman empire from 37 to 68 AD.  The birth of the Nazarene is the permanent line of demarcation between two historical eras.

Recent bambing in Gaza, August 2018

But modern Israeli society has devised a new way to demarcate their history, especially their military confrontations with Palestinians.  Now, the historical clock always begins immediately after the Palestinians respond to Israeli provocation.  In this way, Israeli aggression is conveniently erased from the story.  All that remains are Palestinian actions against Israel.

Let’s look at a few recent examples:

“Israel Launches Broad Air Assault in Gaza Following Border Violence” – This was a NYT headline on July 20, 2018.  The lead paragraph says: “Israeli warplanes launched a large-scale attack across the Gaza Strip on Friday, one of the fiercest in years, after a Palestinian sniper killed an Israeli soldier along the border fence during a day of escalating hostilities.” (emphasis mine)

Not until the middle of this article does the writer get around to mentioning that Israeli soldiers have been killing unarmed Palestinians regularly for the

Gazan woman protesting at the Great March of Return

past 17 weeks!  Since the largely peaceful protests in Gaza began on March 30, at least 159 Palestinians have been shot and killed, including women, children and emergency first-aid workers.  More than 16,000 have been wounded, many crippled for life as Israel insists on using live ammunition against unarmed people.

Yet, these facts are not considered relevant for the reader’s understanding of Israel’s recent assault.

The NYT would never deign to report this story more honestly by saying

Gazan child shot by Israeli sniper

that a Palestinian sniper retaliated against Israeli aggression after 17 weeks of constant Israeli sniper fire, during which time Israeli snipers killed 159 Palestinians and wounded over 16,000 more.

Or take this story from the Washington Post (8/9/18):

“Rocket Barrage from Gaza Prompts Fierce Retaliation by Israeli War Planes” — The lead sentence declares: “Israeli aircraft struck more than 150 targets in the Gaza Strip in response to a barrage of rockets from the Palestinian territory…” (emphasis mine).

According to the Post’s framing of the story, Palestinians continue to behave as irrational, suicidal actors instigating yet another round of Israeli bombing by their unprovoked aggression against Israel.

The writer mentions that 11 Israelis were injured by flying debris in their

Israeli war tourists watch Gazan march and Israeli solders shoot

neighborhood. Yet, nowhere does this article print a single word about Israel’s unrelenting assault against the residents of Gaza since March.  The 159 dead Palestinians, including old women, children and medics, go unmentioned.  Neither is there a word about the 16,000 innocent civilians wounded.

As always in APR time, Israelis remain the only victims in the story.  Because that is the point of APR time.

Referring to the rockets sent from Gaza, Naomi Zolberg, 34, a resident of the Israeli city of Sderot (located less than 1 mile from Gaza’s northern border; only 840 meters at the closest point) complained, “We only slept an hour…People were freaking out. It is not normal to live like this, under the will of the other side.”

Perhaps Ms. Zolberg should turn down the volume on her TV.  Apparently,

A section of the Gaza fence

she hasn’t heard the regular, weekly (sometimes daily) rifle-fire targeting the imprisoned people struggling to survive only a short walk from her doorstep.  These are her fellow human beings trapped in an open-air prison, shot like fish in a barrel by Israeli snipers enjoying target practice.

Is that a normal way to live, Ms. Zolberg?

Sadly, it is perfectly normal for people like Ms. Zolberg to ignore the human  tragedy happening under her nose, just as it is normal for Palestinian families to endure it.  Every single Gazan resident would think themselves blessed many times over if only they could switch places with you, Ms. Zolberg, and experience your hard, hard life of freedom living next door to their prison fence.

Israel’s latest existential threat — Palestinians throwing stones at soldiers holding high powered rifles and tanks with machine guns

But we will never see this particular story-line on the evening news because it does not conform to the standard APR rule-book.  And the one rule that can never be broken in Israel’s reporting – and this applies to the vast majority of the Western press which robotically repeats Israel’s perspective on all things Palestinian – is that you never describe Israel’s actions before the Palestinian response.

 What came before the Palestinians acted?  Before the people of Gaza began to march?  Before Gazan activists shot their homemade rockets over the prison fence containing 1.8 million people in the Gazan ghetto?

What came before is repeatedly erased from Israel’s memory, even as it is etched indelibly into Palestinian consciousness.

Yet, it is exactly for the sake of conscience, that we all – especially God’s people – must refuse to abide by Israeli APR time frames.  Ask, learn, study, become educated in the long, tragic history of the many crimes committed against them before the Palestinians finally responded.

Yes Pastor Floyd, America Needs a Spiritual Breakthrough. But Not the One You Imagine

Ronnie Floyd, senior pastor of Cross Church in NW Arkansas, former president of the Southern Baptist Convention, and president of the National Day of Prayer, has written an editorial for CBNNews (claiming to offer THE Christian Perspective on today’s affairs) under the headline “America Needs a Spiritual Breakthrough.”  Here are a few excerpts from pastor Ronnie’s missive:

“America is broken and in deep need of a spiritual breakthrough. Division and hatefulness are abounding as none of us would ever imagine. Our greatest hope is a spiritual breakthrough in America…

“We are facing one of the most dangerous times across the globe in our lifetime. While encouragement occurs from time to time, we remain in fragile moments globally…

 “The churches in America are in need of a spiritual visitation by the Holy Spirit that will call them out of their lukewarm status and cause them to return to the power of the gospel. Jesus is still the greatest hope in every town, city, and region in America…

 “Politically, America is in trouble. The disappointment of our political leaders not working together for the common good of our nation has Americans filled with all sorts of emotions, many of which are not healthy. This partisan decision making is hurting the progress and future of our nation greatly.”

Alas, what hope is there for American evangelicalism when such poisonous, spiritual gruel passes for prophetic witness and is guzzled like cool-aid by the average church-goer?

How can God’s people hope to see clearly when their leaders are so willfully blind?  How will the people hear truth when their preachers are deaf to any words but their own?  How can the church mature when her teachers think and act (and write) like ignorant children?

When pastors like Ronnie persist in leading their congregations ‘round and ‘round in circles, I am not surprised that so much of the church remains confused, dizzy and socially ineffective.

The pastor of Cross Church is at cross purposes with himself, for he represents the most common theological confusions of American evangelicals, all of which I disentangle in my book,  I Pledge Allegiance: A Believer’s Guide to Kingdom Citizenship in 21st Century America (Eerdmans, 2018).  At the heart of this confusion is his mashing together of church and state which is then sifted through the grotesque assumption that God is a Republican who voted for Donald Trump.

Let’s not be so naïve as to think that Ronnie’s lament over “division and hatefulness” while facing “the most dangerous times across the globe,” dealing with “the disappointment of our political leaders not working together for the common good” is anything other than the predictably partisan judgments of a Trump-loyalist.  For people like Ronnie, healing national divisions for the common good means falling into lock-step behind an obscene, racist, malignantly narcissistic president and then following him anywhere like dumb lemmings running to the cliff.

But these political errors are the easy-to-see, low-hanging fruit.

Let’s move on to grab hold of the more substantial core of Ronnie’s theological errors.  Errors that identify him as only one more false prophet in the American pantheon of wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing defrauding God’s flock.

The tell-tale sign that Ronnie is up to no good appears with his blatantly utilitarian view of the gospel.  Notice that his ultimate objective for preaching the good news of Jesus Christ is not to glorify God or to expand God’s kingdom.  Those are merely penultimate goals.  Excellent goals, certainly, but not the final goal.

No, the final objective for Ronnie and his misguided kinfolk is the unification of America’s body-politic behind the president and his policies.  (Again, we will leave aside how shockingly immoral many of Trump’s policies are.)  What evidence will finally tell us that America’s “spiritual breakthrough” has arrived?  Well, we will see (1) a renewed political scene that is (2) free of partisanship (3) with “political leaders working together for the common good of our nation.”

When these things happen, then we can know that the America church has “received a spiritual visitation by the Holy Spirit” (what other kind of visitation would the Holy Spirit make?) that has “called it out of its lukewarm status.”  So the Holy Spirit will work in America as in ancient Israel.  The Spirit’s task is to unite the nation.  The church and the gospel are tools for achieving that greater end.

But Ronnie’s vision confuses the church with the world and the world with the church.  God’s people are called to become strangers and aliens within American society.  Proclaiming the saving work of Jesus’ death and resurrection recruits new citizens into God’s kingdom who will demonstrate their newfound redemption by their own transformation into strangers and aliens.

Declaring the gospel of Jesus Christ honestly will highlight the stark contrasts between the church and this fallen world.  It will never bring them closer together.  Gospel preaching is nothing if not a heavenly bombardment that destroys our flesh-pot idols of civil religion, nationalism, and salvation by politics.  Genuine followers of Jesus are not deceived by this ancient, beastly triumvirate of bogus, copy-cat Christianity.

Yet, this three-headed monster spewing out recycled false religion like “a dog returning to its vomit” (2 Peter 2:22) is exactly what Pastor Ronnie – and the bulk of evangelical leaders sharing his devotion to American redemption by politics – is offering both the readers of CBNNews and those attending his multi-campus megachurch.

Ironically, the true evidence that American evangelicalism is more than satisfied with its damnably “lukewarm status,” with no intention of confessing its sins or repenting of its many offenses against the Lord Jesus and his kingdom, is its blind, self-satisfied allegiance to such atrociously false teachers as Ronnie Floyd.

Yes, American evangelicalism desperately needs a spiritual breakthrough.  But it’s not the one pastor Ronnie is looking for.  We will know that the real breakthrough has arrived when Ronnie Floyd and others like him publicly renounce their idolatrous Christian nationalism, confess that the kingdom of God has nothing to do with American politics, repent of their adulteration of the gospel with the bile of civil religion, and then call their congregations to sell their excessive belongings, giving the proceeds to the poor.

Now, that would be a breakthrough.

Stories of Self-Denial, 2

Having confronted my earlier failure to ask Jesus what he wanted to do with my life, I completed my undergraduate degree in wildlife biology and did something I would have never thought possible – I stepped into Christian ministry.  (Check out part 1 of this story here).

My friend, Marv Anderson, convinced me to join the staff of Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship.  Terry and I moved to Salt Lake City, UT where I worked on the campus of the University of Utah.  Four years of campus ministry with university students convinced me that I had to pursue graduate work in theology and Biblical studies, but that pastoral, parish work was the last thing I would ever consider.

Jesus had certainly been answering my daily prayer that he teach me to love people, but he hadn’t altered my basic makeup as an introvert.  Yes, I was learning to care deeply about others, but they still exhausted me.  I couldn’t imagine becoming a pastor, dealing with the messiness and conflicts of congregational life day after exhausting day.  So, I searched for a graduate school offering advanced degrees in Christian theology without directing students into the pastorate.

I enrolled in Regent College, Vancouver, B.C.

My first year at Regent blew my mind.  I absolutely loved studying theology, church history, Biblical studies and languages.  Perhaps I will share more miraculous stories from my time at Regent in future posts.  Terry and I were the beneficiaries of many, many miracles during those years.  We also made a number of life-long friends.  Those years living in Blaine, Washington were foundational in making us the people we are today.

But, alas, in my second year of study, the leadership at Regent College double-crossed me!  The powers-that-be decided to add a Masters of Divinity program to their catalogue.  An M.Div. degree is the standard gateway course of study for would be pastors.  To make matters worse, I began to sense that God was calling me to switch programs and enter the M.Div. program.  Yikes!

Following Jesus is a mysterious way to live.  For instance, how do you know when an invisible God, whom you have never seen, who does not speak in an audible voice (at least, not to me) is “telling” you to do something?  And not something in general, like “be a nice person,” but something very specific, like “change your major and enter the M.Div. program you have been running away from”?

Well, you just do.

Following the Holy Spirit is one of those things a person has to experience for themselves in order to understand it – and here I am using the word “understand” very flexibly.  Some would say I am stretching it beyond recognition.  Real Christianity is always mystical at its core.  If a person says they follow Jesus but has never experienced the ineffable compulsion to do this, go there, start that, move over here – especially when those urges direct you in ways that run contrary to your personal preferences – then I would suggest that person is only pretending to follow Jesus.

Remember, the way of Jesus is a way of self-denial.

I pushed back against God’s mystical shove towards the M.Div. program for weeks.  Yet, try as I might, I could not shake the sense that Jesus was telling me to sign up.  My early morning devotional times became lengthy wrestling matches where I worked hard at convincing God that he was making a terrible mistake.  If he had wanted me to become a church pastor, he should have made me a different person.  I simply did not have the proper personality to become a successful church minister.  Why had He made me this way if that was His design for my future?

I still remember the moment of my surrender, actually if was more like a collapse, as if it were yesterday.  I was spiritually and emotionally exhausted.  It is not easy to fight against your Creator.  At least, not if you are trying to love Him at the same time.  In the early morning darkness, sitting in my Blaine living room, I prayed this prayer:

“Ok Lord.  I think that you are making a big mistake.  You made me in such a way that I can never be anything more than a second-rate pastor.  But if that is what you want me to do, then I will try to become the best second-rate pastor I can be.”

That morning I went to the Regent registrar’s office and switched my course of studies to the M.Div. program.  I did not know where or how I could become a minister, since I had no denominational ties or support.  But when Jesus tells you to do something, it’s best to leave the future necessities to Him.  He knows how to work out the details.

I did eventually become the pastor of a church in Salt Lake City.  I was there for 9 years.  When people ask me about it, I sometimes quote a line from the opening of Charles Dickens’ novel, A Tale of Two Cities:  it was the best of times; it was the worst of times.

The Lord and I continued to have regular wrestling matches.  Many were the prayers that repeated my fears: “I told you, Lord!  Why am I here?  I am in over my head. I feel like I am drowning. You should have made me a different kind of person.”  And then the prayers would resolve themselves in a new moment of surrender: “But I know you brought me here, Jesus.  It’s up to you to make this work.  I’ll continue to try my best, but I need all the help you can give me.”

During those 9 years of pastoral ministry, I also experienced more of the grace, mercy and the power of God than I had ever dreamed possible.  All together our church body grew in maturity as we shared in more miracles, saw more lives changed, helped more new people enter into the kingdom of God and witnessed more genuine discipleship than I had ever seen before.  I experienced genuine Christian community in very profound ways through the love and support of church members who helped carry me through some of the hardest times of my young life.

I miss those 9 years even as I never want to relive them.  All I can tell you is that, in every way at all times, our God is always good.

We rarely, if ever, know what is best for us.  Heck, we don’t even know what is mediocre.  But Jesus does, and he wants to guide us into a peculiar way of fulfillment through self-sacrificial service because sacrifice is the way of fulfillment – at least, it is for people who follow Jesus.

Jesus says, “Everyone who wants to come after me must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me.  Anyone trying to save their life will lose it.  But whoever loses their life for me and the gospel will find it.”